Hello Mrs. Jones
8:20 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There once was a young man called Max. Liked sniffing his bird's used Tampax. He wasn’t discrete About this monthly treat Or his other despicable acts
Her regular trips to the gym Did result in a most sweaty quim
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arsene york-hunt
2:41 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I’ve just put a bird up the duff Strange as I only fingered her chuff, A paternity test, DNA off my vest, Will make my denials quite tough.
There once was a young man called Max. Liked sniffing his bird's used Tampax.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
1:10 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I went out once on a blind date Fuck me! The tart was a state But I fell for the joke Cos the tart was a bloke Called Charlie rather than Kate
I’ve just put a bird up the duff Strange as I only fingered her chuff
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Mike Oxsaw
12:06 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A man I once knew called Jack Had hair all over his back. But, up on his head, Not one single shred, No chance he could pass as a yak.
I went out once on a blind date Fuck me! The tart was a state.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
5:21 Mon May 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Our ski instructor named Liszt, Said I'm off out on the piste But he hid in the trees Took off both his ski And quietly had one off the wrist
A man I once knew called Jack Had hair all over his back
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arsene york-hunt
1:00 Mon May 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak Knows deep down that they’ll choke, He behaves like they've won, But when all's said and done, He really is a strange bloke.
Our ski instructor named Liszt, Said I'm off out on the piste.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
11:28 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Some of these rhymes are quite rude, And some are just fucking crude. many are not But I’ll just tell you what I much prefer the ones that are lewd
A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak Knows deep down that they’ll choke
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arsene york-hunt
5:29 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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She knelt down then got on all fours Said "Help yourself to my back doors." To myself I linked 'er, Via her anal sphincter, Well you know, it's one of life's chores.
Some of these rhymes are quite rude, And some are just fucking crude.
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Mike Oxsaw
3:48 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I was thinking to go down the pub But instead I'll click on Pornhub The girls were so young, So, just for some fun, I gave my John Thomas a rub.
She knelt down then got on all fours Said "Help yourself to my back doors."
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Hello Mrs. Jones
12:03 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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This morning I wasn't quite able To get to the bog, lay a cable Talking of turds I like it when birds Shit on a glass coffee table
I as thinking to go down the pub But instead I'll click on Pornhub
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Mike Oxsaw
7:30 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A feisty young girl from St Mawes Would wear a short skirt and no drawers A breeze from the west Would lift up her vest And prove her the queen of all whores.
This morning I wasn't quite able To get to the bog, lay a cable.
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Helmut Shown
4:33 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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She was worse the wear from the booze, Ugly with piercings and tattoos It's quarter to two What can you do? Us beggars we can't choose
A feisty young girl from St Mawes Would wear a short skirt and no drawers
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arsene york-hunt
2:29 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I asked my wife for a quick nosh She hit me - a real biff, bash, bosh. With this bad injury Ended in A & E. When i met her I thought she was posh.
She was worse the wear from the booze, Ugly with piercings and tattoos.
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Mike Oxsaw
11:48 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a young girl from Ibiza, Thought by most to be a prick teaser. She'd give you, for free, A bad STD But only if you're a real geezer.
I asked my wife for a quick nosh She hit me - a real biff, bash, bosh.
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arsene york-hunt
11:01 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A footballer who came from Korea Is a diving cheat, so I hear. Fourrbees say: 'snot funny, A fine man's our Sonny." But that's just verbal diarrhoea.
There was a young girl from Ibiza, Thought by most to be a prick teaser
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Helmut Shown
8:21 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Of girls I've known there's been some Who preferred to be fucked up the bum But stick it up dry You'll get a black eye Use lube and apply with the thumb
A footballer who came from Korea Is a diving cheat, so I hear
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Mike Oxsaw
6:18 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Cunnilingus is really quite tough When the girl has a thick bushy muff. But, part all that hair And the pussy is there For many, that's more than enough.
Of girls I've known there's been some Who preferred to be fucked up the bum.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
6:05 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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He wanted an option that’s cheap In a field he shagged an old sheep He tried to purge His bestial urge But he really didn't fancy Bo Peep
Cunnilingus is really quite tough When the girl has a thick bushy muff
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Helmut Shown
1:24 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Will the dinosaur be any bolder. It's my last game as an ST holder, I’ve given up hope Because of the dope He has no plan B in his folder
He wanted an option that’s cheap In a field he shagged an old sheep
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arsene york-hunt
6:04 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Now Villa are failing, it seems Like all other Top English teams But there are fuck all, Who like West Ham fall, About which on this thread are reams.
Will the dinosaur be any bolder. It's my last game as an ST holder,
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Mike Oxsaw
12:08 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Disgust is normally voiced If you ask a girl if she's moist But ask if she's wet It's a near certain bet It's you up the yard-arm she'll hoist
Now Villa are failing, it seems Like all other Top English teams
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